I write with something bigger than a heavy heart. I’m almost short of words, feels like I’ve got a blank head and mind yet, I write.
I’d seen someone God fearing and thought of how beautiful it’d be to be married to someone that shares likewise passion for Christ. I wanted to commit to someone that knew what it feels to love God and be lost in it, floating on an overwhelmingly awesome sea of God’s love. It was so wonderful to see someone always ready to talk about God. Oh yeah, he was my inspiration. I was so dazed to go for a crossover service just to get to the middle. I saw someone quoting a chapter of Job off head. That was it for me. I was amazed, surprised and maybe more. I was touched and taught that very night.
He was my age mate, maybe a little older. I guess that was what made it inspiring and I said to me “You can be like this too”. It was even more inspiring when I thought of how our generation had become filled with people who were almost ashamed of being called ‘spiritual’ so much that it became cool to take back seats, chat all through religious activities and make jest of those that were ‘spiritual’.
As I heard someone say “Alaanu just died”, I lost all sense of solitude. I gave up on the voice that said “be calm” and I wept to the hearing of all that paid attention. I shook under the realization that we had just lost a rare gem, an obvious lover of God and an inspiration, a role model and a leader. I was hot all over, I didn’t mind if my friends were going to be surprised to see me weepy . The news had hit right through my spine, my body quaked as tears kept pouring down. I couldn’t wrap my head around what I had just heard, I needed to wake up from this dream, smile and say everything is okay. It was unbelievable but the words in Isaiah 57:1-2 rang through my ears, they were as clear as the chirping of birds on my window:
“Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from evil to come. For those who follow godly paths will rest in peace when they die”
I didn’t fail to tell the little I knew about him to those who saw me cry… I didn’t communicate with him often and it was only when I saw him in church we talked. I remembered he sang in the choir whenever he was in church. He didn’t just sit down like I always did. He was always smiling, always cheerful and talking with him was always wonderful. In all, he was a big inspiration and he has left a mark that will forever remain in our hearts. For the first time, I wiped my tears and said I was happy because he is in heaven already. I have never said this about anyone so even in his death he’s an inspiration. No matter how short he lived, I can boldly say he lived a good life, he was a good man.
When I heard it was a motor accident I was angry because it shouldn’t have happened and I asked God why things are so unpredictable, why someone is here today and gone tomorrow. But now, I know it doesn’t matter how long you live your life, what matters are how well you live it. Oh! my heart is still heavy and as I started seeing words about him, it got worse. I decided to let my brother know and immediately I broke the news to him, he said “he was such a righteous and devoted guy”. I started seeing updates on BBM someone said and I quote “someone is in heaven right now-Goodbye”. My eyes were filled with tears yet again and it took a lot of willpower to stop them from falling. As I walked along the road I asked myself, “What will people say about you?” It was a rhetorical question that held a lot to be answered
I want to touch lives, I want to be different. I want to change the world but I’ve got to start from somewhere. Somewhere just around me. Maybe I should start from my room.
Alaanu has finished well I hope I do too.
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